Friday, May 20, 2005

Traumatized 

Yesterday, i tried to escape from the korean guy. Lecture ended, i was chatting with my friends for a few minutes. During lecture, everytime the back door opened, i always turned around to see if it was him, but he didnt come for lecture. Next thing i knew, he was there after lecture. He came SPECIALLY for me. He was chatting with the other guys and when i saw him i IMMEDIATELY left. I decided to take the lift so he wouldn't be able follow me. When i left the building i walked as fast as i could, quick small steps. I just kept walking, and i turned back a few times to see if he "found" me and caught up with me. I reached the main traffic light safely. I was waiting to cross, turned back once, phew, he wasn't there. I was a bit relieved then. Then i turned back another time. SHIT!!!! There he was!!!!!! He actually came after me! Damn it! He saw me look at him. There was no way i could hide. Then he stood beside me and asked where i was going, i said i was rushing back. He asked why, i just lied and said it was a family emergency. He asked if i was going home, i said no. Then he asked again, what was it about, bf or what i just said something happened at home. i felt soooo uncomfortable cos shit ass, i almost got away, but i didnt!!! then he commented that it was so difficult to take a photo of me, so i repeated myself again with the same excuse saying exams is just next week and i really need to study. he said again, it'll probably take only 2hrs. i said i really had no time because after exams i will be flying back str8 away and will only return 3weeks later. besides 2hrs is not very short, i can do plenty with 2hrs instead of wasting my time with him. he asked for my number, i paused for a moment then i reluctantly give it to him. i mean, he asked, how am i suppose to refuse? after that, almost reaching the train station i said very straight forwardly, "why don't u go look for someone else" he just said he's always looking. but if he is i dun see why he still continues to pester me. before we parted ways he asked me to call him if i was free, then he realised i didnt have his number, and i just said nvm u can miss call me or something.

that was probably the most traumatizing experience for me. i mean, dammit why do i have to keep avoiding him and "live in fear". in the 1st place i never said OK to him, everything was see how, or just no answer. somehow he assumed that i was willing thats y im in this awkward situation now. the numerous times i always gave hints by using sch work and exams as excuses that i wasn't free. i think its pretty obvious isn't it? but he just doesnt get it!!! and if i were to tell him straight that in the 1st place i was never interested and i NEVER consented, i think it would be very harsh?

im just stuck now, i dread seeing him in school. Helpppppppp

tw|nKled by t|aRa on 12:07 AM