Sunday, August 14, 2005

Had home made pizza for lunch today. It was YUMMMM............ *slurps* Had another ok week, made it through all the tedious tasks, im losing focus, dreading every day of school. Have thought about things in the long term and i have made a decision. Im always so fickle, but i hope this time its final.

I was packing my room today, found a few movie tickets lying around on the table and in my bag. I took out my diary to put the tickets into the pocket slot of my diary. It has been awhile since i read my diary, i flipped through the first few pages, silly memories were flooding back into my head. Then i came to a part where i felt like tearing a whole chapter out of the diary. Reading it, i felt a tremendous ache in my heart, as though the scars have not healed and hurt upon touch. However, i did not tear it out. I told myself, it is an important chapter of my life that i can look back on to remind myself never to take the same path. If i were to read it again, i will not let it affect me, but only serve as a reminder. So i decided not to tear it out (don't wanna spoil my diary either), closed it and kept it back in its secret place.

Collected my shirt and cardigan yesterday, am also planning on buying that pretty brown blazer tomorrow. Ive got so many things in mind to buy, Neh is numb these days when i ask him for his opinion on whether something is nice, the worst is when i ask him if i should buy it *laughs*. Previously, he would tell me "its up to u, its quite nice, if u really like it, buy it" These days, his reaction is "don't buy lah" no matter what i say. Hahaha. He's so patient with me, he knows my shopping habits better than anyone else. And he's f***ing sweet to me. I remember the last time i went back to Sg which was in June, we quarrelled the day before i left. We hardly spoke those few days cos i really didnt wanna speak to him and start another quarrel. The first weekend apart, he went to the city and he actually bought me the shirt i was eyeing, even though we were still in the "cool off" period. Its so sweet of him. Just last week, i was on my way home on the train, there was this young lady, she sat opposite me, and she was smiling to herself every now and then. She's not crazy, but i just wondered what she was thinking of, maybe she was thinking of happy thoughts which made her smile. I started thinking back on how Neh and i started going out. I remember 1 of our dinner dates, we were at IndoChine (before it moved to Wisma), i cant remember what we were talking about, but he was saying his hands were really rough after all that training and etc in the army and he told me to feel his palms. Thinking back, i felt like laughing cos, damn, was he flirting with me that moment or really meant nothing about feeling his palms? I remember another part about that same day. We went to town first before dinner, i told him i needed to meet Daph to pass her something. Daph and i were suppose to meet at A|X at Taka, then Neh asked me what was it that i needed to give her, i stupidly told him oh, damn i forgot to bring it, but i will still meet her to say hi. Haha he saw through the act. He knew that my only motive was to let Daph see how he looked. Hahahaha Neh only told me about this a few weeks ago. I feel like laughing, in fact i am laughing to myself now hahaha. 2yrs...it sure doesnt feel like it at all.

I love Barry Manilow's voice and his songs!

tw|nKled by t|aRa on 4:46 PM