Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Yun: tagging is just too long...im probably gonna flood ur tagboard. so anyway these are my thoughts on the whole relationship

yeah, i am aware that i have the upperhand. as i mentioned, i know i do because he's really behaving like a girl, and somehow after an ardous journey in my previous relationship, i learnt alot and its helped me become more mature in the way i handle/see/play the role in a relationship. that puts him at a disadvantage partly because im his first serious girlfriend and im sure he's never had the "opportunity" to deal with such shit in a relationship so he obviously has less experience. as for me, whenever we quarrel, i somehow always have a clear mind and i know what i want to say, to some point i kind of manipulate the whole situation cos yeah i know what im saying (compared to someone to just shoots his mouth off randomly). you know what i mean? another reason is because i was almost like him in my previous relationship. hell, i was around 17-18 too and boy...when i think back, i sure was a nuisance.

i guess being able to handle such situations in a more mature manner is good for myself. but on the other hand, i don't know what damage it might do to the relationship. apart from the hanging up and the yelling, i can pretty much handle everything else in my way with much help from my clear mind. not that i would manipulate it in such a way that it becomes his fault, but rather put back the pieces together to show him where the conversation/situation had gone wrong. but somehow it'll always be him ending off with a statement that i cant retaliate like "ya la ya la you're always right, im always wrong" even though it doesnt even make sense. so all in all, what im trying to say is, having an upperhand will give him less confidence and make him feel like i am the one controlling the relationship. that is actually partly true because i am still guiding him in what being in a relationship is like. i mean come on, when we first got together, he had hardly any idea on what being in a relationship is like. the poor guy thought that quarrels in a relationship meant that the relationship was doomed?!?!? & other things which were such a one way street thing to him (i cant think of any examples).

anyway, everything is ok now. i made the first move to call him this evening, and everything was ok. i was quite worried that he would be angry with me not because of yesterday, but because i took so long to call back (the usual response in such a situation is: why now then you call? you dont care about me at all issit?) yeah, back to the root of the problem. when i called i just began to talk as though nothing happened just to hear the tone of his voice and surprisingly, he spoked as per normal, so yup, everything is ok now.

tw|nKled by t|aRa on 11:33 PM